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Carol Dodge of Glastonbury, Conn.

What should I give? Dodge described her mental calculations for the recent wedding of her niece. Dodge, clearly bewildered by their reaction, asked: Is it too bfooklyn

Is it too much? And therein lies the puzzle. For Mrs.

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But fod her and many others, that total is just another number in the chaotic Women want nsa Langley Washington of wedding gifts, a calculation in which what to give, and how much, is downright bewildering. Mitchell, who spent 23 years directing special events and protocol at the Library of Congress, advises checking the registry, and in the absence of a registry, giving a thoughtful gift or writing a check.

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People should give according to their relationship and their means. Perch said that her mother taught her that giving money was tacky.

Afterward, Mrs. McKenzie decided she would give only gifts that she deemed beautiful and unusual.

She often gives Celtic wedding bells made from Belleek or Waterford crystal, complete with brookyln to ring the bell to end an argument. A gift-giving divide exists among generations.

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Older generations tend to follow the registry or give cash. For those who want to have an impact, wedding consultants advise joining with others on a gift.

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Two to three months is acceptable for getting a gift to a couple, according to numerous online wedding sites. Where the bride and groom live is another consideration.

7 Adults on the Struggle to Make Friends Later in Life and How They Did It

Sarah Heckroth, who was married in January in Austin, Tex. In Long Beach, N.

Murphy-Kelly said. In Fort Wayne, Ind. First, how close is she to the couple? Then, is this wedding No. Cress said.

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Back East and in the Midwest, weddings are more family-oriented. How can you outdo the next person? Guests may still be confused, especially when confronted with crowdfunding sites such as Honeyfund. Johnson, the wedding planner in Denver, noted the growing popularity of crowdfunding sites: The Honeyfunds are ways a couple can basically ask for cash without directly asking for cash. In any case, gift giving should not involve exhausting mental calisthenics, said Mrs.

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Mitchell, the etiquette consultant. Weddings Wedding Gift Cash Grab.

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A version of this article appears in print onon Page ST11 of the New York edition with the headline: An Unholy Mystery: The Denomination of specisl Gift. Open in the app.